Wants and Needs

There is always a moment in any relationship whether it be a friendly or romantic one, when you think "Is this what I wanted?" Getting almost everything you want from a person means sacrificing in other areas, correct?  Keep that in mind. Small sacrifices are what life is all about but what are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to sacrfice something that is essential to your emotional well being? What if you can have all you want without any emotional involvement? Would you do it?  You can have a home, a family and a faithful companion? Would you sacrifice deep emotional love? So there the question comes to pass; Is this what I wanted? When I started  psycho-analyzing my life I didn't think I would find a person so emotional. I actually liked Dee, the loyal friend, the caregiver, the mom and finally Dee the perpetually single woman. I liked all these people. The new attached Dee...not so much. I really wasn't ready to go digging around in my psyche wondering what I wanted out of life and who I wanted to spend it with. After being single for a decade or so and "dating" I never once thought whether I wanted to spend my life with them or not. It wasn't even a question. Sure there were one or two where we would have been a match made in heaven but there was always something that made me close up and say "Oh no not this one." Ridiculous reasons too, nevertheless they are gone but I still hold them deep in my heart if only as my 'What if's?" 
Is this what I want? I thought about this question alot recently and this weekend I concluded that the question is wrong. The question is "Is this worth waiting for?" Maybe I never waited around long enough to find out. Maybe I wrote someone off too early and shut myself down so no one could get in. There they are again the "What if's." I like to think I have made all the right decisions in my life. Even if they didn't turn out the way I wanted, hopefully I learned from them. I firmly believe in embracing your failures and your torments. It makes you who you are. Any relationship that starts off like its too good to be true, in reality it usually is. The problem with getting everything you want is, you forget about about the things you need. My needs are becoming much more important than my wants. The truth is getting what you want isn't necessarily the best thing for you. Oh its definitely not a bad thing, its pleasurable and satisfying; for a little while even euphoric. Needs, especially emotional needs have a way of showing up, unannounced demanding attention. When they roll up they are relentless. I try to focus on having all I want. I do, I don't have to wait, it is all  right in front of me. All my wants, all my desires just waiting for me. I still want them. I want to take them, secure them and be happy just to have them. My needs are so unforgiving; they keep calling, they need some reassurance, they need some love. I still wonder if I can have both, hoping for it. Wants and needs, needs and wants. One big circle and back to the same question, Is this worth waiting for? If my emotions allow it, I'm going to stick around for a little while longer. I want to see if I come back around to start it all over again. Maybe this time if I wait I will I get what I was waiting for all along. I can keep moving forward instead of going in circles.